01 02 03 Prone to Wander: So much depends upon... 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

So much depends upon...

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She pushed the curly haired toddler in the swing at the park--the swing enveloped him and I watched his mouth open wide and his eyes squint, and he laughed as he swung through the air. She sighed and slipped her phone out of her pocket, and texted with one hand and pushed him with another, and she wasn’t pushing a red wheelbarrow, but at that moment so much depended on the person on the other end. I took a bite of my white chicken sandwich, and I slid my own phone out of my pocket. No new messages, but two new emails, one Century Link Bill and one student asking if she missed anything important in class today. I sighed, powered my phone off and promised myself I would not turn it back on for two hours, which would be 6:07 PM. As soon as the screen blackened, I felt a bit panicky, but also relieved. Is it possible to feel panic and relief at the same time? Well, I did at that moment, and the relief won out, and I stood from the bench and walked over to sit on the swing, across from the toddler, who was no longer giggling, but fussing for his mother or babysitter or whoever she was to push him more, or get him out, but her thumbs moved rapidly over the screen as if she didn’t even realize he was there. I pumped my legs to swing high, as if I were seven-years-old again, and I felt my cheek glazed with rain.
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