01 02 03 Prone to Wander: This morning I missed a meeting with one of the boys’ teachers. 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

This morning I missed a meeting with one of the boys’ teachers.

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I felt like the biggest loser. So very irresponsible. Raymond had made the meeting last week and told me to go at 8:00 this morning. I didn’t write it down and simply forgot. The meeting was nowhere even close to my mind until I got this text from Raymond around 10:30.

“I forgot to tell you about the meeting for David/Kevin this morning.”

That’s all the text said, as if it were his fault for not reminding me. 
So that’s what he said, but this is what I read: You are the most irresponsible human ever. Get it together!

You see, the truth is that this kind of stuff is not my strong point at all. If I don’t write something down, I just forget about it. This gets me in trouble sometimes, and I’m not proud to admit this at all, and I kind of hope my parents aren’t reading this, but a few months ago I realized I was driving on an expired license and had been for five months. I wouldn’t have ever noticed if it weren’t for Raymond asking to see my DL when he was working on our taxes in April.

“Um. Dear. It’s past time to renew your license.”

I was horrified.

My very responsible and caring friend and coworker Alison knows my struggles, and she helps me out a lot by sending me reminders. 

“Don’t forget we have the department meeting today.” 

“Don’t forget your rosters are due tomorrow.”   

“Don’t forget to finish up your grades by Tuesday.”

She’s WUNTERFUL.

Just yesterday I get an email from another well-meaning coworker,

"I noticed your name was on the list of instructors who still need to submit book orders for the Fall," he said.

Thank you! Thank you so much. I stopped everything and submitted my book orders right away.

I have every single bill on auto pay except ONE. There is one bill I have where auto pay is not an option. Guess what? I usually miss it, even though a few days ahead I think, “I better pay that bill…” Then it’s due and they stamp on a late fee. The nerve.

I’m trying to do better. I really am. I do have a planner, but I always forget to take it with me, so that doesn’t help. It’s cumbersome though and doesn’t fit with my accessories.

After I realized I missed the meeting this morning, I wanted to cry and hide. Instead I went to teach my class and told them about it, and they said kind things like,

“It’s OK, Mrs. Phile.”

"It could happen to anyone."

"It’s OK if you accidentally miss this class sometime.”

“It only happened once.”

Except that’s not really true. It happens all the time.

Raymond just emailed me this: 

Mr./Mrs. _____________ said  he/she had a meeting available ___________ at ____________. I may try to slip over there in a few to take care of it today. I will let you know.

All I hear is, you suck. Get it together.

Today I will go to Staples and get another planner. One that is small enough to take with me. One that is cute enough where I will want to take it with me.

I will keep you posted on my (hopeful) progress.
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