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I unzipped my work bag this morning and reached for a textbook I needed for class and noticed a single blue with a yellow tip Nerf gun bullet wedged between the book and some papers. I thought, how did that get in there? Oh wait, that was probably from last Saturday’s Nerf gun war when you and your brother and dad, armed with your masks and guns, hid under blanket forts draped over dining room chairs and fired at each other, while darting from room to room. Screams and chicken-like cackles erupted through the air every few seconds and the house felt like it was shaking as I tried to read and drink strong coffee, and I said, can’t you all go outside? And you said, mom why can’t you play with us? I said, I can’t, I’m busy, please go outside, and then all three of you did.

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